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The Healing of  HERMAN NEUMAN

● Champion Trauma Survivor ● Inspirational Speaker ●
● Author ● World Traveler ●

My Blessings from Near-Death, Destruction, Suffering:
Uniqueness of the Connected Mind !
(Draft copy)

Let a man rejoice when he is confronted with obstacles, for it means that he has reached the end of some particular line of indifference or folly, and is now called upon to summon up all his energy and intelligence in order to extricate himself, and to find a better way; that the powers within him are crying out for greater freedom, for enlarged exercise and scope.
~ James Allen

Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood let alone believed by the masses.
~ Plato

Suffering has a noble purpose – the evolution of consciousness, and the burning of ego.
~ Edgar Tolle

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
~ Albert Einstein

Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.
~ Pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I spent the first two dozen years of my life in an unbelievable, extraordinarily diverse man-made hell. However, instead of creating persistent bitterness and anger, I received many blessings. These helped me to achieve the seemingly impossible feat of clawing myself out of that hell, single-handedly, and even become a successful and very happy person.

But I did not become aware of those blessings and that amazing achievement until decades later. My mind had barely dwelled on that part on my life. I became only awakened to my blessings by the feedback from readers of my memoir. Mostly because of that my persona began to change. Although, the lessons I learned and the blessing and inner peace that I gained from those experiences may probably not be really understood by the masses.

To give you glimpse of inner peace, I am referring you to the "light-hearted" list by Siskia Davis, RN, titled SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE® - ©1984.

In addition, patient painful long-term endurance rewarded me with one of the greatest blessings one can receive - connections and insights seemingly beyond the ordinary. Without knowing what he was looking for, an MD of Integrative Medicine, confirmed this by diagnosing me to have a high intuition with the aid of a computer hooked to my body. Unfortunately, deeper than normal insights have also been causing my greatest reoccurring frustrations for much of my life.

The biggest reason for that is what David McRaney describes as the back-fire effect:

"Once something is added to your collection of beliefs, you protect it from harm. You do this instinctively and unconsciously when confronted with attitude-inconsistent information. Just as confirmation bias shields you when you actively seek information, the backfire effect defends you when the information seeks you, when it blindsides you. Coming or going, you stick to your beliefs instead of questioning them. When someone tries to correct you, tries to dilute your misconceptions, it backfires and strengthens those misconceptions instead. Over time, the backfire effect makes you less skeptical of those things that allow you to continue seeing your beliefs and attitudes as true and proper." 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I began writing this article with little forethought but simply with the idea of relieving my decades-long frustrations from such resistance by others. To find the explanations and solutions about why so many people seem to disagree with me so often. Some even do so no matter what subject comes up. Even if they do not know anything about the subject.. Most attack me almost immediately with emotion-driven responses on my persona, without letting me even finish my explanations or desiring to learn the facts that I present to them for examination. Such an attitude immediately stops discussions. Not being able to discuss problems, makes it difficult to solve them. Such is the state of affairs, at least in America.

I do not know how the content of this article will develop. It will undoubtedly be very educational, unusual and interesting, like so much else has been in my life.

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I have to explain the surrounding circumstances of my diverse traumas to help you visualize their severity, to help you also understand the consequent blessings. I truly benefited from having had patient endurance of unending abuse and exploitation during my first two dozen years.

Only until late in my life I did recognize that I was constantly absorbing lessons that cannot be learned in any other way, and that someday these would even help me to extend my life with many healthy years. Therefore, my views and wisdom can differ widely from the norm. Generally, I do not "think outside the box," except about mundane subjects. I let insights flash into my passive mind, from wherever they may come.

Who will be intrigued? Who will "shoot the messenger," because of the lack of understanding or fear of reality? Will the answer depend on the reader's intelligence, emotional state, ego, Toxin-caused Brain Fog (TBF), immoral ethos, belief entrapments?

About a quarter century after my birth I finally arrived at the starting line of my life, and it finally became "normal."  Surprisingly, or not, even during more than about a quarter century after that, I still never thought about the early part of my life but for a few moments at a time. I did not purposefully suppress these thoughts; it just never occurred to me to reminisce about the "good old days."

And many more years after that, I secured a saddle on my friend, Sundance, a golden horse with a snow-white mane and tail, and told him that I loved him, as conceived by Plato "as ascending from passion for the individual to contemplation of the universal and ideal." This caused him, Sundance, to deflate his belly that he had puffed up to prevent me from tightening his saddle belt enough to keep it, and me, securely in place.

I was standing of front of him to make a final adjustment of his bridle. Unbeknownst to me, deflating his belly caused the saddle to slide off his back and hang upside down. That was an old saddle designed to fit on a thoroughbred and not specifically for a quarter horse. This spooked him, causing him to explosively jump forward, flattening me to the ground. He bucked and kicked over the top of me, lengthwise, but Platonic wisdom caused him to not even scratch me.

My life did not flash before me, but the impact with the ground tore loose my right collar bone, while I swelled with pride that my pants remained dry.

Because I had to keep my right arm in a sling for a few weeks, I began writing about myself just for entertainment. Initially it took a lot of effort to produce no more than a few pages. My mind was still blocking the memories of a box office winner distant man-hell.

During the subsequent years I slowly began to realize that my traumas had also given me many unusual blessings. Some of them are also happened to be described in the final chapter of Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal, by Belleruth Naparstek. They are Joy, Compassion, Heightened creativity, Survivor power, Spiritual connection.

Those are some of my qualities why someone invited me to become a spiritual care volunteer in a hospital, and a psychiatric facility. What I was learning from and about the hundreds of patients with whom I visited individually kept me wondering about why so many keep getting or remaining chronically sick, angry and self-destructive, caving in from what I consider to be relatively insignificant causes. This is so unlike the impoverished society in which I grew up. Comparing the milieu of my background with today's morphed reality, the inescapable conclusion of one of the tap root causes has to be: The induced collective national and individual mindset. Individual little snowballs keep crashing down gathering into an avalanche that is keeps growing into an unstoppable strengthening gravitational force according to Ami's Avalanche Axiom. Until it hits the bottom of unbearable misery for all.

In great contrast, world record suffering-endurance has actually given me many physical, emotional and spiritual blessing; without receiving guidance or mentoring from my parents or anyone, except for the mundane.

God must have given me the strength to endure and protected me from certain death many times and guided my actions. I am certain of that, because people cannot even imagine the extent of my survival ability and suffering.

My knowledge, wisdom and understanding was greatly enhanced by enduring many overwhelming challenges that were mostly caused, but could have been reduced in severity, avoided or prevented by my parents:

War - near-death illnesses  - baby holocaust - chronic ear-rotting infection - soul-rotting parents - school failure- judicial injustice - floggings - malnourishment -  homelessness - manure-wallowing - chlorine-dipping - body-torquing hard labor - and much more.

By the time I was only twenty years old.

Maybe to strengthen our characters, to put more frosting on our cakes, our parents sent my little brother, Siggi, and me into deep manure, hard-labor slavery in far away America. We were only fifteen and seventeen years old and spoke little English. I will probably never learn the history of that conspiracy. I am still not sure who had paid for our six-thousand mile-long voyage "from the frying pan into the fire," little Siggi's and mine.

During my "fire" one of my two slave masters subsequently forced me to live, by myself, in a desolate rodent-infested shack. With dynamite under my bed, and without even an outhouse. Prolonged experiences taught me that the outhouse is the most primitive luxury for mankind.

One day, this second slave master wrote me from Washington, D.C., where he worked seasonally for the State Department, for me to move his dynamite to someone's farm. He also explained that it was not very dangerous. However, unbeknownst to anyone it had become so unstable, so potentially explosive, that it would blow up from  slight jarring. I would not even learn about unstable dynamite until decades later. Then a bomb disposal expert told me to "start playing the lottery, because you should have exploded."

The worst aspect of life was that I never had one person to mentor, guide or console me.

The best aspects were, and still are, that I did not emulate the self-destructive behavior of my parents and never thought that I was a victim.

How would you have reacted to any one of the traumatic episodes mentioned so far? What would have become of you?

I became a paradox in many different ways. I did not even resort to sucking my thumbs, although I often picked at their cuticles from nervousness. Psychologists would probably have diagnosed that as being fearful of what might happen next. They might have prescribed  a quick fix with interesting side-effects. And given me more quick fixes to counter those effects, creating even more effects. My fear was not unfounded, because for the first twenty some years of my life, when it seemed that whenever my situation could not get worse, it often would become even more horrifying.

During that era there were very few, if any organized support groups or agencies in existence. In retrospect, considering my plight, had I focused my thoughts about how I would have been able to escape, I probably might have concluded that the best solution for me would have been to kill someone. If not myself, life in jail would certainly have been a great improvement during much of those times. Such a drastic act would also have drawn attention to our drastic situation.

Instead of choosing jail, I made my  first major independent decision ever, and did so without a forethought, to attend college. That decision was completely irrational, because I had a near-zero chance to qualify or being able to pay for it.

The long-term outcomes of that singular decision demonstrates that eventually almost all my fears, however, may be unfounded. Fears and anxiety had been virtual balls and chains limiting my progress in reaching my desires of which I had few, and my full potential about which I had no clue. In spite of, or because of, such a simplistic state of mind, that singular decision would even help me to develop a joyful soaring spirit over the long run of what could be called PTBO – Post-Traumatic Blessings Order.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I began to die, not long after I began "life" on earth, in 1939, at the worst time, in the worst place, in the history of mankind; during the beginning of World War II, in Nazi Germany. My mother would write me many years afterwards in America that I had spent many days in a kindergarten that was operated by the NSV, National Socialist People's Welfare organization. It was supposedly called the "greatest social institution in the world." While there, I became very sick and had very high fever. Ma also wrote that she kept begging the old doctor who was in charge to give her permission to get me into a hospital. He finally did so eight days later, where Dr. Heineman immediately carved a chunk out of my head to save my life.

Since the receipt of that "news" from my mother I have been wondering if that Nazi doctor, or someone, had intended to eliminate another baby dud. I had, or was having, several very serious near-death illnesses (sunstroke, whooping cough, skull-eating ear infection, diphtheria, and who knows what) during that time period and must have been a drain on the socialistic medical system. In addition, I was most likely also subject to culling the weakest to create that Aryan super race. A few weeks ago, I learned about such culling from an unexpected source.  In her book, The Secret History of the War on Cancer, Devra Davis states:

Page 56: "…By 1939, as military activity expanded, German health (sic) administrators set up a system of what was called euthanasia. They began to kill babies with major defects and moved quickly to others, including mentally ill persons ...throughout the country hospital patients continued to be killed by German physicians and nurses as part of the overall scheme to rid the population of the ill."

Page 57: “France, Austria and Japan were among the nations with deeply shared eugenics views that became grounds for mass murder.” (emphasis added)

I realized only decades later that this, my first, second or third bout of dying by this time, was actually  a requirement of a government program. I did not "graduate" from that program and I am still here to possibly be given another chance to finally graduate from a similar program that sends me on my final departure from earth.

Maybe because of that original failure, every few years over the decades the same image of a bright light, along with the thought, “What was that light I ‘saw’ so long ago?,” has briefly popped into my mind. I think I saw that light while I was in a hospital. It also seems to be my very first memory of my past. Could this light have been part of an experience like neuroscientist's Dr. Eben Alexander? He, like some others, talks about his near-death experiences and concludes that consciousness survives physical death.

War and illnesses were only the beginning of my physical and emotional traumas that hindered my thinking. It seemed to have narrowed down my thinking to a narrow self-protection, self-preservation mode. I did not perform well in school even though I studied very hard. I could get severely flogged by my Ma if I didn’t. Once she even locked me in a pitch black coal and peat moss storage room, because I had been spanked by a teacher.

These training methods seemed to have rendered brain functions somewhat ineffective. This was finally verified by a study. That study also confirmed one of the biggest paradoxes about me, that instead of remaining a patient punch bag water boy, I should have blossomed into a wonderfully aggressive present-zeitgeist-worshipped anger-driven famous popular hero, who could spit tobacco juice  far into the wind, and be the subject for vigorous barking by nightly TV news comedians.

I flunked completely out of school during my fifth grade. I was told that I was dumb. So I was.

However, dumb or not, painful human influences also gave me great empathy for suffering individuals. Being depressed or not, I have never had mental health counseling. On the contrary, now that I am much freer of false ideas, and keep avoiding synthetic chemicals as much as possible, I continue to be blessed and obsessed to help inspire and comfort others that are suffering physically and emotionally. Therefore I have also been visiting patients in hospitals and given inspirational speeches.

Suffering must have caused my consciousness to be closed to my personal brutal reality most of the time. I rarely thought for more than a few moments about any subject; almost never about my past or my future. I fully engaged my brain only when I was required to keep focused on tasks such as homework. Fortunately, I did not escape into fantasies or delusions, or to the other side, like growing numbers of people are doing today. Instead I was, and still am, focused on reality. Fascination and wonderment about things great and small, God's creations, and the ever-weirder behavior of the human species also entertain my mind now.

Lack of prolonged purposeful focused thinking actually became a habit that I was not even aware of far into adulthood. I did not think about what was fermenting in my memory hole and did not whine about my plight, or boast about my survival skills. This was proven that for about three decades my in-laws only suspected that I had been poor. Also, while I was visiting my parents many years after they had shoved my little brother and me from "the frying pan into the fire," I never even thought about asking them, “Why did you make our lives so exiting?”

On the other hand, some of my readers have had different emotional reactions from my life story, many somewhat like the one of referring to my memoir told me:

"Your father was a bastard, and,... I was disappointed that you did not shove your uncle's face into that pile of maggots."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Some profound insights come to me with blink-like intuition. When a few years ago I realized through  hindsight that I had this ability, I said to my wife that I better start paying attention to my intuition. Too many "blinks" had come to pass. By searching the Net I also discovered that people can actually heighten their intuition level with practice.

My intuition was most likely enhanced by painful experiences. This helps me to have deeper understanding of causes, symptoms and effects that seem to be hidden to others. Therefore, while lacking facts, background knowledge and understanding some people classify me a pessimist, belly-acher, paranoid or such. Some obviously do not, or do not want to, grasp the reality about which I try to inform them. And here is a video from another one who also has that problem.

People closest to me during my early years created my “negative” reality and attitude to begin with through their treatment of each other and my little brother and me. Almost all of my misfortunes, including my most recent slow dying, have always been directly or indirectly, knowingly or unwittingly, caused by other people.

An additional impediment to accepting new ideas is that many people are under the spell of present-day fantasy zeitgeist from wide-spread propaganda like this. This is very much evident from searches on the Internet and does not bode well for returning to a saner world for decades to come, if ever. Stating facts about emotionally-charged issues is often frowned upon as "complaining." It does not help that the population is also constantly and stealthily being brainwashed through many different channels and by many different methods.

If we understand the mechanism and motives of the group mind, it is now possible to control and regiment the masses according to our will without them knowing it...

The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in a democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country...

We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. This is a logical result of the way in which our democratic society is organized. Vast numbers of human beings must cooperate in this manner if they are to live together as a smoothly functioning society...

 In almost every act of our daily lives, whether in the sphere of politics or business, in our social conduct or our ethical thinking, we are dominated by the relatively small number of persons … who understand the mental processes and social patterns of the masses. It is they who pull the wires which control the public mind.
~ Edward Bernays, Father of Propaganda

Independent and critical thinking is already discouraged early in life. We have become a nation of "monkey see, monkey do" imitators. Consider this: After a virtual entertainer appears on screens, while wearing a baseball cap backwards or with wires braided into his face, millions of zombies "decorate" themselves in such fashions for years to come. Same for hanging crotches, skull tattoos or wardrobe malfunctions.

Rigid belief in mythos causes a surprisingly large number of people to respond to my messages about realism with emotional verbal attacks or to veer far off  the subject, even before allowing me to present supporting facts. Are they so egocentric that they do not realize that they are doing that? Rational people would want to ask questions, want explanations, engage in discussions or try to disprove my statements.

If they could disprove my statements they would most likely reap satisfaction instead of rising in anger. I even welcome different opinions, because they help keep me open-minded and add to my knowledge. Even my most painful knowledge has served me well over the long run. It may even be one of the biggest reasons why I am still sane and alive.

Condemnation without investigation is the height of ignorance.
~ Einstein

One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.
~ Carl Sagan 

One important foundation stone for my life was to have grown up in a simple and natural environment that offered very few human-created distractions. This forced me to develop an obsessive curiosity that craves deeper knowledge about even very ordinary things. I am always wondering about the who's, how's, why's. I spent much of my time outdoors, often with other children and then never under adult supervision. All of us were so poor during a six year period after World War II that few of us could afford to even buy a pencil. One time, one pupil donated a box full of them, which his family had received from relatives in America, for our classmates.

Because the complete absence of organized groups and events, and a dearth of toys, children were compelled to forestall boredom. To do so we jumped and fell into ditches, laid on the grass to watch clouds and birds, and climbed high up in trees. We dug holes into the ground and often walked barefoot to be very much connected with nature. And as I would learn much later in life, probably also connected in a way with everything in this universe.

The ingrained habit of seeking knowledge and understanding is one aspect of the paradox of my PTBO referred to above. That PTBO is also why people to give me feedback like, "I could not have done what you have done." I never thought that I purposefully did anything extraordinary but just kept plodding along from minute to minute, from day to day, always within the law, throughout all of my life.

Because I rarely purposefully thought to investigate anything for longer than a few moments, while wondering about many things all the time, it took decades to escape my emotional fog to learn that “The truth, when you finally can chase it down, is almost always much worse than your worst visions and fears” (Kingdom of Fear by Hunter Thompson). My hindsight discoveries late in life confirmed this to be the case with many of my horrendous experiences.

For example, I could not believe the great number of people, including many Siggi nor I had ever seen, were directly or indirectly involved in causing my suffering. I learned only many of the names many years from many old family letters and documents.

Similarly, some of the greatest human-caused problems have been kept so unbelievably secret, destructive and frightening that people did not talk about them publically. Silence has allowed some of them to fester under the surface of public awareness for decades or generations before they exploded into full-blown crises.

Evermore people are  now suffering economically, physically and emotionally. Therefore, attitudes about my “pessimistic” ideas have slowly been changing. This gives me greater comfort, because of rising levels of awareness and more harmonious like-mindedness. However, I have also discovered that too many people would still rather remain apathetic and in denial about unpleasant situations than trying to deal with them. As I keep saying, even if it kills them.

Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings.
~ Helen Keller

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A chiropractic doctor, upon reading my memoir, concluded that "the human potential seems to be infinite." Hundreds of people with whom I have visited individually or in groups, now assess me as being "an exceptional man. - Why is he still sane or alive? - Has a spirit like Viktor Frankl.” Dr. Frankl was a Holocaust survivor whose faith was strengthened by that experience. He wrote thirty-nine books, including very popular ones, Man’s Search for Meaning and Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning.

Similarly, instead of becoming bitter and revengeful, my long-term suffering-derived blessings have caused my faith in God to become absolute. My latest, slow but most severe long term suffering-recovery miracle, which came about after publication of my memoir, confirmed again the grace of God.

Think about this: A stranger calls me over the phone and tells me that I had been poisoned. She and entire family had experienced such. She based her conclusion solely by what she perceived about me over the telephone: sniffles, throat clearing, speech fluency, clarity of thoughts, and who know what. 

On the other hand, MD's and various medical tests were not able to do diagnose the causes of my "serious illness." Even so, two doctors suggested to implant me with a heart pacer, and one wanted to prescribe antibiotics, both of which I immediately declined. I am writing this about ten years later, and I am still jogging and working out in a fitness center.

Furthermore, why and how did I endure through so many traumatic episodes described herein and transmogrify to someone who still enjoys great zest for life? The age-old question about suffering is, why does God allow so many innocent people to suffer in the first place?

Trauma can change a brain, if one has the staying power. It most likely caused changes in mine and may also have caused spiritual connections with other living beings and the Divine. Other trauma survivors have said the same about themselves. Some years ago I recognized that I have such connections, and even with seemingly everything in nature. This may be exemplified by my frequent desire to hug trees and people and gently stroke wings of bees. Doing so imparts a feeling of peace and love in me.  Maybe this is sometimes also true the other way around.

Not surprisingly, I sometimes also absorb opposite "feelings," energy, something, from hypocrites and evil people, no matter how friendly they may attempt to appear.

Coincidentally, while I was writing the last two paragraphs my email program announced a new message with a related subject. Dr. Mercola writes about the highly unlikely discovery that Scientists Discover That Plants Communicate via Symbiotic Root Fungi: "Researchers in the UK have discovered an extensive underground network connecting plants by their roots, serving as a complex interplant communication system... a 'plant Internet,' if you will."

And a few weeks later, again coincidentally, or not, a link to this must see documentary, Numen: The Nature of Plants, arrived in my email box. Merriam Webster dictionary defines numen as "a spiritual force or influence often identified with a natural object, phenomenon, or place.

The video explains that "numen is the animated force in all things living, and this is strongly demonstrated, although often taken for granted, in plants. "You're as much carrot as you're kangaroo, as you are bird. A lot of that DNA, a lot of that memory comes from the very origins of life.... We are connected to the beginning  of life itself... the body is connected in a very spiritual way to its beginning even before the human form became the human form."

One of the naturalists in the video says that when a very ill patient comes in to see him, "something happens to me... drawn into their conflict... you really want to help them so much." You can even see the compassionate nature in his eyes. Likewise, after a  few of the patients in a mental health facility left the room in which I was visiting with them, I could not control myself any longer and burst out crying because of their suffering, and that it could have been prevented.

Are the many "coincidences" during the later years of my adult life part of a greater awakening about the connectedness with each other, the universe, the divine? Also, I lost count of how may patients with whom I visited in hospitals and other places have told me that our meetings, subjects of conversations etc., did not came about by coincidence.

Are those not little examples, which can be found everywhere one looks, of interactions and connection of everything with everything else? How and why did this symbiosis come about? What effects do they have on each other, through what means,...? Debates about many of such sets of questions and answers can be endless! The "deeper" one explores the more can be uncovered. What does that say about even very large research projects about topics of nature, for example, that are mostly focusing on single, confined subjects?

Back to where I left off before fungi and numen dropped into my brain.

I discovered that some other trauma survivors also have "feelings" of love and connectedness with others, which I will explain later in more detail.

My brain seems to store seemingly inconsequential data of what I take in with my all of my senses and then subconsciously flash-assembles pertinent bits, "connecting dots, lines, shapes, time" into often important pictures when certain situations trigger it. Such insights are often about things that could have or are having negative present and future effects on people’s well-being.  Does this absorption of information come through various types of forces, energy,  forces vibrations, or also from highly intelligent alien life forms?

One example of my extraordinary perception that also came to me without thinking. Long ago I attended many presentations by the same speaker over a period of many years. I frequently identified very subtle innuendoes, accusations and attempts to induce feelings of guilt, pity and victimization. I blinked early on that the main reasons for that was for this speaker to gain control over the minds of his audiences for purposes of extracting money and personal satisfaction. Eventually I became extremely frustrated by this, especially because of my inability to expose these activities. I seemed to have been the only person of several hundred who was aware of this very subtle but very effective process, and almost right from the beginning.

My assessments proved to be correct in that many people slowly began to recognize this situation and removed themselves from it. However, few have ever talked about this and therefore this criminal is still operating at the time of this writing.

Was my ability to perceive "hidden" reality developed as a mechanism for survival? Is my constant state of what seems to be a sub-conscious hyper-vigilance brought about by intensely traumatic experiences? Is a sense like the ability of some animals to foretell impending disasters? If so, why do not all trauma survivors acquire such traits?

The gift of mental power comes from God, Divine Being, and if we concentrate our minds on that truth, we become in tune with this great power.
~ Nikola Tesla

Prolonged pain can result in patience, understanding, and empathy for people who are also suffering. It can enhance love for the world. I have also learned to pay attention to intuition, because something as subtle as a sweep of someone's arm, or "something" about strangers that I am not able to define with words, has cautioned me in the past about dishonest individuals, sometimes even before I even had a first glimpse of their faces. Then I would be astounded  when these intuitive perceptions would be verified in some ways at later times.

Ironically, blessings, attributes such as these have also caused one of my continuous greatest frustrations, because even some of the people closest to me deny or cannot discern reality that may cause harm in the long run. I became only fully cognizant of these unusual blessings during my advanced years after I recognized that even some of my darkest visions and foresights kept being verified by actual events or by credible sources.

Some of my greatest concerns continue to relate to the consequences of the fact that everyone takes in synthetic toxins to various degrees. Most recently, the recognition of “hidden” reality and patient endurance has even helped to reverse my own very gradual, miserable, dying by slowly accumulating poisons in my body, in spite of having considered myself a "health nut" for much of my life.

The far greater implication of those experiences is that up to the time when that stranger suggested that I had been poisoned, allopathic medical practices were unable to diagnose or reduce the causes of my many and growing numbers of symptoms of worsening health.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There are additional reasons for my conflicting or non-conformity in perceptions and thinking.

Self-serving parties keep pushing "diversity," but oddly or not depending on your insight, discourage diversity in thinking and opinions, especially about truth and reality. There are many indications that confirm Orwell's statement that "In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act." That attitude alone creates friction and discord in many areas of society and between individuals.

My weltanschauung was further broadened by having traveled the planet, having lived in three countries, and having attended schools in two of them. There a huge difference between the overall results of their educational systems and consequent disparate growth in wealth and well-being of those societies.

Guess which system has had the greatest educational successes? The one with the most sports and "pride," or the one with the almost complete absence of such?

Obsessive reading was one the few affordable entertainments during my early years that helped keep me from getting bored or depressed. Reading publications from different countries became also a life-long habit that gave me  different perspectives about many subjects. 

Also more recently, I was surprised about an unusual confirmation about my ability to perceive what many others cannot. While connected to a computer with a wristband, a doctor of integrative medicine diagnosed me to have a high level intuition. Afterwards his first words were “this causes you great frustrations.” I responded, “Tell me about it! But I’ve learned to live with it.”

It is reasonable that people cannot be expected to always agree with me, because my experiences have been so extraordinary. But to emphasize again, many people also do not realize the importance of paying attention to prevent or deal with problems, to stop them from getting bigger. A simple example, Ami's Avalanche Axiom, of how easily things can get out of control is how one big snowball resting on a sidewalk developed into a campus riot.

It requires a very unusual mind to undertake the analysis of the obvious.
~ Alfred North Whitehead, mathematician and philosopher

Here are a few more examples of my unusual thoughts or insights that others thought to be unrealistic, stupid, offensive or paranoid:

1. During the early period of the Nixon administration, without giving it any consideration, and without knowing what it was or would be about, I told someone that drastic changes would begin to unfold during that administration. They did, and are still having avalanching consequences for America’s well-being today:

Ending currency-gold exchange with other countries.
Nixon “opening” China to the Western world.
Nixon’s forced resignation.
Opening up America to Chinese buying up America.
Disappearance of American jobs.
Currency wars.
Endless denial, whining and finger pointing.
Thunder of snickering from the other side of the globe.

2. I correctly predicted, even up to years in advance, that specific people were going to get sick or die from specific causes based on various aspects of their appearances, behaviors, health damaging exposures, etc.

3. I correctly predicted that several people would get fired from their jobs, including two of my supervisors. I even told them that they would be gone within one or two years. (How did that affect my performance reviews?) One of them would not speak with me when he suddenly departed, while the other one congratulated me that I had forewarned him correctly.

4. Here is a quote from my memoir of one of my more unacceptable general foresights that I had to tone down a lot so as not to scare off my readers: I worried that my new country itself would backslide and pull us (my brother and me) back down with it." It is telling that more than a dozen years after this observation disconnected people still do not recognize or understand only few of the many reasons for their own and our national dizzying downward spiral.

5. While mowing acres of weeds with a tractor for many days each season I observed the sunny desert sky. I did not expect so many daily flights across our region as was evident from the many lingering vapor trails. I concluded that the sky had also become hazier and whiter more often over the years. Jet trails could remain in calm skies for hours and slowly widen out for miles. By the end of some days that haze would often cover the entire sky.

If nothing else, the ongoing creations of thousands of square miles of such artificial reflective layers high around the earth must have a large effect on its weather. One has to wonder if at least some of daily thousands of acres of lingering jet trail-created blankets around the globe are also composed of more than just frozen water vapor crystals. Judging by the existence of millions of web site videos and articles about research, seminars, etc., about “chemtrails,” a lot of people seem to think so. Are their claims made at this three-day conference in Los Angeles really true?

6. A few days after the US invaded Iraq in 2003, a popular TV opinion shaper dismissively stated that this war “will be over in a week or two.” I responded somewhat loudly to the glass tube across the room that this war would continue for many years, or decades, spread even further, and may outlast us. (Sick cynical told-you-so snicker here)

7. Many years ago, while walking on a sidewalk along highway, I glimpsed the side of a passing shiny new black SUV with large red art or text splashed across its side. I "blinked" something like, “I bet that is part of a wasteful effort that will be worse than useless and will cost taxpayers a lot of money.” Sometime later I saw that van again and was able to read its graphics, DARE - Dare to say no to Drugs. This confirmed to me that my initial thought had been  correct. Only many years my intuitive conclusion was confirmed.

After much wasted time, efforts, fortunes and misguidance, the experts who invented and/or administered that program determined that this program had proved to be ineffective. Time magazine (Just Say No to DARE, bwrote: 'some high school seniors who’d been in DARE classes were more likely to use drugs than their non-DARE peers.'

Yes, less than useless, like many of the millions of failed or detrimental social programs that were initiated under the guise of helping people.

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.
~ Einstein

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The pessimist complains about the wind;
the optimist expects it to change;
the realist adjusts his sails.

~ William A. Ward

What is really interesting is that I have been a combination of all three, while mostly passively "drifting" in whatever the direction the wind blew me during my first quarter-century. Because of severe intimidation and poverty I did not have the choice of adjusting my sails. Only after I reached my sixties did I gain a much greater understanding of my background and how it helped enhance my understanding of many subjects.

Some people are more “connected” to reality than others. Several years ago, after I had mostly recovered from a very gradual but very serious poisoning, I spontaneously said something like this to my wife:

“I feel like that I am protected and guided by God and connected with every living being on earth. I cannot explain why this is so or how that feels. Somewhat like soaring with ecstasy. Feeling in harmony with everything that is good."

No, my thinking was not skewed by the effects of medicines or by watching TV. I have not even taken one aspirin, nor watched television, for many years.

Do you think that such a spiritual connection seems highly unlikely? Then please consider my being able to survive, and even thrive, in spite of my long, early-onset, lonesome traumas. They gave me a spirit that kept me connected with reality and led me down non-destructive, healing paths? This is exemplified by the following three aspects of my life:

1. Much of my journey seems to have been so improbable that many readers of my memoir are astounded by it. Even several staff members of the psychiatric facility, where I have been visiting patients for many years, told me something like, “I don’t know how you made it through what you went through," and  "This place lights up whenever you walk in here." Recently one elderly reader ask me "what would Americans do I they had to suffer what you did?" and I answered instantly that if such a hell were to were to start suddenly half of them would kill themselves within six months.

2. While I was living in lonely slavery in a dynamite shack, without even an outhouse, and had no home, no paying job, no friends, no supportive family, no self-confidence, no mentor, no money, no hope, and a college grade prediction test predicted that I would flunk college English, I made the “insane” instantaneous decision to attend college. Sometime later, by coincidence, I happened to find a job that was known as “the toughest job in town." By mostly working on that job, I earned my sustenance and my college expenses for an architectural engineering degree from Washington State University.

3. I did not get CIPLED, Criminally Induced Pathetic Little Ego Disorder, nor did I emulate any of the very destructive behaviors and deeds of my closest role models, my parents and my slave masters. Instead, I grew up be to the exact opposite of what most psychologists and popular expectations would have thought to be the case.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Great spirits are always met with violent opposition from mediocre minds.
~ Einstein

Some of what I have written so far about trauma, intelligence, brain changes, spiritual connection and universal interconnectedness may be difficult to believe or understand. Therefore I will direct you now to people who have studied or experienced various aspects of these subjects:

1. Psychotherapist Belleruth Naparstek has counseled many trauma survivors and describes several blessings that some of them receive from their suffering in the final chapter her book, Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal:1

Joy, compassion, heightened creativity, survivor power and spiritual connection (especially with others who have also intensely suffered)

“Many survivors express gratitude for the renewed connection with the divine1a that their journey has brought them. They describe a more intimate relation with God. Often they talk about a new found ability to source nourishment and renewal from every corner of the universe, every part of the natural world. There is a profound and palpable peacefulness that comes from deep inside of them. This inner light, capacity for joy, peaceful centeredness, acceptance of their own strength, and intuitive understanding of others acts subliminally to attract others to them. These are the heroes who lead the way with equal measures of gentleness and personal power. And they remind the one who are still struggling that they can reclaim their lives too.”

Belleruth also advises her colleagues: "Please Stop Saying Post-Traumatic Stress Is Incurable."

I agree with her whole-heartedly, because post-traumatic stress and related subjects were rarely even talked about in post-World War II Germany that was suffering many years of intense long--term stresses of the worst kinds. Most people seemed to have been able to individually and effectively deal with them during those times, and also to a great extent for the rest of their lives.

I cannot remember one person, not even one child, ever "complaining" about stress or being depressed. Those two expressions did not even seem to have been in common usage. Anti-depressant medicines as we know them today did not exist. Also, amazingly, few if any studies were done about the effects of the hell on "war children" until several decades thereafter.

In that vein, even though I used to have severe sleeping problems for decades, I never suspected that I might have had PTSD and no one ever told me that I did. Furthermore, the expression post-traumatic stress disorder did also enter into public discussions until many years later.

Similarly, will the frequent public usage of "psychology" words for abnormalities actually help cause  the general population to think of itself, as a whole and individually, in these terms? Will that have enough influence to cause "you are what you think you are?"  I myself had serious self-doubts, lacking self-confidence from childhood until college. I believed that I was dumb and earned some mediocre grades in school. Later I discovered that this poor performance was most likely and mainly caused by anxiety, complete lack of love and mentoring, and mediocre understanding of my dilemma by adults that were responsible for my upbringing.

Refugee children walk on a road during winterPsychologists taking care of traumatized children didn't exist in Germany. A 1954 study also did away with any concerns about the psychological and physical well-being of these war children and teenagers.

Hartmut Radebold, a psychiatrist in Kassel, Germany, who has studied the generation of war children for years said:

"They were back to a normal weight, a normal height, normal school grades and had no serious psychological disorders as far as those could be detected with the methodology used at the time. They live according to the saying, 'What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.' But again and again, he noticed behavior among those 60 years and older that he attributes to war experiences that were never dealt with.

But maybe that was good if one considers the state of psychiatry today. Non-drug solutions can be much more effective and none-addictive. And do not kill people.

My greatest life-long blessings seems to be that I enjoy the exceptions, the opposites, rather than the consequences of childhood traumas. The reviews and comments by hundreds of readers of my memoir seem to confirm this.

2. Famous psychoanalyst Erik Erikson stated:2

“The psychological effects on adults abused as children range from psychosis, depression and anxiety through addictions and post-traumatic stress disorder. The eight stages of psychosocial development show that failing to master early stages -- often because of abuse -- causes maladaptive behaviors and impaired emotional capacity in the adult. According to the late psychologist Dr. Harry Harlow, a child who is unloved by age 5 may never learn to love at all.”

Another excerpt from his Young Man Luther: A Study in Psychoanalysis and History:

"Someday, maybe, there will exist a well-informed, well considered and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child’s spirit; for such mutilation undercuts the life principle of trust, without which every human act, may it feel ever so good and seem ever so right is prone to perversion by destructive forms of conscientiousness." (emphasis added)

These observations do not include any positive consequences of abuse, and I do not know any more about Erikson's works to know what he may have learned about such.

I and the public know
What all school children learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return.

~W. H. Auden
September 1, 1939

3. The Resonance Project3 and Black Whole: Scientific Evidence That Everything is One3a (DVD). Swiss-born scientist Nassim Haramein, and others, explain and show how everything in the universe is connected and interrelated. He states:

“We are all connected with each other and the universe.”

Nassim draws his conclusion based mostly on his scientific research, which he presents in his videos that also include many graphs. His credible proof, and what Belleruth learned from her work with many trauma survivors, affirm my earlier statement about my "feelings of being connected."

Nassim also says that there are two groups of people that view things differently. The more spiritual ones think in terms of infinity, infinite potential, and on the other hand there are scientific people that tend to think of finite and closed systems that have very defined boundaries. The two do not necessarily agree. He shows, however, that the infinite and finite systems are complementary. (emphasis added)

This dichotomy prompts the question, can scientists and leaders of global "progress," whose thinking seems to be predominately limited to defined boundaries, imagine what the long-term consequences of their combined creations might lead to? Scientific research is often or mostly pursued with doggedly rigid setups with single-issue experiments in laboratories settings. In the real world there are many unknowns and variables, that can change the results of the subject matters being tested. 

A most important example about health: Judging by the rapidly growing numbers of newer types and cases of illnesses, the total result of scientific creations are not very encouraging. Therefore, one must conclude that longer-term outcomes could not be imagined by those who have researched and introduced them to the world. One seasoned research chemist who I once knew finally understood this and began to make his own soap.

What might cause the difference in the two types of thinking? Could it simply be one or a combination of the following opposite attributes: left brain vs. right brain, realistic vs. delusional mindset, selfishness vs. unselfishness, good vs. evil influences? External and supernatural influences?

4. The Brain that Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science by Dr. Norman Doidge, M.D.4

One of its chapters, A woman perpetually falling, concludes that:

“…the brain is a far more open system than we ever imagined, and nature has gone very far to help us perceive and take in the world around us. It has given us a brain that survives in a changing world by changing itself.”

For more information read How Innate ‘Plasticity’ of Your Brain Allows You to Improve Cognitive Performance and Prevent Age-Related Decline by Dr. Mercola.4a

The reality of these claims is exemplified with two examples:

Most likely brain changes helped me to recover from the damaging effects of early-life severe illnesses, high fever, malnourishment, fright and long-term anxiety. After one of those illnesses I was not able to stand up anymore, and a doctor said that I might never be able to walk again. My parents also worried that I also had become an “idiot.” If this was not so, what healed me?

This second example is solid proof of brain and intuition changes and adaptations. I have communicated for years with people who are suffering from environmental illnesses. Not, surprisingly, their stories about that subject are very similar. I interviewed Joe Doe during many sessions and have studied the MRIs of his brain. The colors of the outer regions of his brain indicated that these were quite dysfunctional. This was also the assessment of his doctor who told him that he was practically "running on intuition."

5. A new measure of intelligence: Big-picture thinking trumps narrow-minded expertise.5

Health Ranger Mike Adams states: 

“What's lacking in these so-called 'smart' people is the ability to see the bigger picture by assimilating information from a large number of seemingly unrelated sources. Or, stated in another way, even some most high-IQ people around can't see the because they get lost in the details…

“See, the very concept of "intelligence" in our society is way off the mark. It isn't intelligent to be able to memorize and regurgitate a huge number of facts and figures, yet this is precisely the measure of academic aptitude assessed in modern educational systems -- especially in law school and medical school. To function as a crude human database of facts and figures is not very useful in an age where handheld computers and mobile computing devices can do the same thing…”

Again: "It isn't intelligent to... regurgitate facts... especially in law school and medical school." Oh, really? Were GIGO regurgitations one of the primary reasons for my many years of suffering while under the expert professional "care" of these two respected areas of expertise? With few exceptions, these experts not only failed help me, but even intensified and prolonged my suffering.  A few of the lingering aftereffects will probably be with me until I die.

I was able retrieve the names of about two dozen of our "family's" well-paid law school outputs. Instead of achieving justice for us under the law, they were greatly responsible for creating and prolonging our imprisonment in a sometimes life-threatening man-made hell.

Excepting the successes in the cut 'n paste departments, my many personal "healthcare" experiences were about as fascinatingly educational. My two chronic illnesses could mostly have been prevented in the beginning had these professionals been more assimilation-type institutive thinkers! The simple methods that helped with my recoveries is proof of that.

Mike and Nassim are in general agreement about the two types of thinking, and that has also been definitely my experiences during my interactions with many other people. This difference may even be exemplified by the responses of readers of my memoir and my audiences. On one side are the ones who do not give one word of feedback, even the ones who have known me for a long time, and then learning about my early life. One the other side are the ones who seem to understand to immensity of my having overcome many painful, impossible odds to even thrive far beyond expectations. Their empathetic, spiritually-connected, understanding is exemplified by their feedback.

6. A meta-analysis of the relationship between in vivo brain volume and intelligence, by Michael A. McDaniel, Virginia Commonwealth University, published in the Elsevier journal, Intelligence.6

“This study’s best estimate of the correlation between brain volume and intelligence is 0.33. The correlation is higher for females than males. It is higher for adults than children. Regardless of the subgroups examined, the correlation between brain volume and intelligence is always positive. It is very clear that brain volume and intelligence are related.

Because I have a big head, but am not sure about my ego, I would like to think that this is true. But I have some doubts about the head size conclusion, and naturally, there are always exceptions. Brain configuration and adaptability, or emotional status will probably have effects on intelligence.

7. The Living Matrix: The New Science of Healing, by Greg Becker, et. al.7 A video about some of the latest scientific wellness discoveries, which I think are often ancient re-discoveries of energy and other types of natural healing:

“The Living Matrix uncovers new ideas about the intricate web of factors that determine our health... a group of dedicated scientists, psychologists, bioenergetics researchers and holistic practitioners who are finding healing potential in a wide variety of new places. (emphasis added, to highlight "connectedness")

“…researchers and others who faced health challenges put the science in perspective when they tell their stories. The family of a young Greek boy with cerebral palsy tries to improve his quality of life through re-connective healing. A British woman, diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, immerses herself in neuro-linguistic programming. An American woman runs out of options to treat her chronic fatigue syndrome, and as a last resort, begins using an information-based therapy. All three make remarkable recoveries.” (emphasis added)

An MD diagnosed my arsenic poisoning by looking for different substances whose disconnectedness, non-harmonic energy vibrations, which might be interfering with the energy system in my body. I blinked that this might be so during my first testing session, although he never explained it and I still knew very little about this phenomenon at the time. (More about this later)

8. The Disclosure Project. (5-part series)8

Even though the existence of UFO's and space aliens is difficult to accept, it cannot be dismissed. But is that subject so much more unbelievable than what people used to be sure of, like the earth must be flat and no one can ever travel to the moon or to other planets? (More about this later.)

9. Cathy O’Brien speaks of Mind Control. (2-part series)9

Because her story is so shockingly traumatic and unbelievable, some people will simply dismiss it or deny it. Likewise, some people also have difficulty believing my improbable life’s story even though it is absolutely true what I have written about in my memoir.

Does Cathy's story have a great deal of credibility because she and her partner had the courage and endurance to give public speeches about it for so many years.

Cathy O'Brien's was severely abused by her father who sold her to be brainwashed and used as a pedophile slave. Consequently she suffered an almost uninterrupted series of most intense physical, emotional and spiritual traumas.

Intense long term trauma, although different in nature, resulted in unexpected and very similar long term blessings for both of us. Some of these subsequent positive aftereffects also match the blessings described in concluding chapter of Naparstek’s Invisible Heroes. The similar positive manifestations and conclusions of so many trauma survivors, along with the scientific theories and evidence that I presented herein, help prove the reality of the connections between living beings and the Divine.

Cathy’s courageous and open-hearted sharing of her the after-effects of her personal experiences was a real eye opener for me. She verbalizes blessings and ideas that are common to us, but I had not yet given enough or no thought. It is astounding that so many of the effects our traumatization and consequent blessings are so similar with each other. That would give both of our claims of being severely traumatized a great deal of credibility.

Here are some excerpts from her statements. They are in bold italic font  and are followed by my responses:

Love is a great healer.

Even though I grew up with nearly no love in our "family" and with the constant hate, lies and machinations of a long lawyer-assisted intra-family war, I am filled with admiration and love that even extends beyond all living beings. For example, just gently stroking the wings of a bee sitting on a blossom makes me feel ecstatic and “connected.”

Love is the greatest motive for me to speak out on this.

I agree entirely. When I learned that I was unwittingly and slowly being poisoned by commonly used chemicals, I discovered that such has become everyone's reality in various degrees. I see a lot of people almost everywhere I go that have many of the subtle outwards symptoms that I had accumulated over the years, plus some. Because I understand what they might be suffering, while not being diagnosed  correctly, or being healed, I have acquired great empathy for them and feel it my duty to educate and inspire them with my simple but very successful recovery protocol.

Like Cathy, my love for others is my “greatest motive to speak out on this.” That is why I also wrote this article, Why the Research Chemist made His Own Soap: Protect Yourself from Human Collapse Diseases/Disorder, in which I describe the background and my long-term poisoning and slow recovery. Fortunately one can now find many possible causes of many symptoms of ill health simply by searching for them on the Internet. For example, even generic searches like "headache lawn chemicals" or "digestion dairy" can provide realistic answers.

I am deeply concerned about our survival if we don’t learn.

Even if we do learn, to learn and accept reality, which is highly doubtful, there are still major impediments to our survival such as apathy, greed, egotism, false indoctrinations, and destructive scientific creations that have already been “baked into the cake” during the last century Also, as long as fantasy still trumps reality, there cannot be a reversal of our path to self-destruction. Just this situation in itself, the comparison of media coverage of sports events to that of the rapidly declining sperm counts as reported by the BBC can do us in.

“The number of millions of spermatozoa per millilitre fell by 32.3%, a rate of about 1.9% a year. And the percentage of normally shaped sperm fell by 33.4%.”

Decades ago I happened to read Albert Schweitzer’s quote that “Man has lost the capacity to foresee and to forestall; he will end by destroying the world.” I realized at that time that hollowing out the earth might someday cause collapses and earthquakes. Now it turns out that it does.

The experiences I had could have left me very hateful, revengeful…

Fortunately, like Cathy, I have also been very blessed in that I never became bitter, hateful or revengeful. Such a state of mind would surely have destroyed me long ago, as it has some others that I have known. On the few occasions when I did have such feelings they disappeared within minutes. Was this because of the psychological self-protective mechanism that kept my mind in a dissociative mode? Such is evident in that I did not even think about asking my parents, “Why did you make our lives to exiting?,” while I was visiting them many years after they had abandoned my little brother and me.

Those kinds of negatives actually hindered me to think clearly.

Mostly because of abuse, poverty and mal-nourishment I flunked out of the rote-memory-focused school, a Gymnasium, during my fifth grade. However, after I finally managed to crawl to the starting line of my life, and became much less burdened by other people, I was eventually able to earn a five-year degree in engineering. By the way, this was an almost totally useless achievement and years of wasted life time.

Negativity tends to feed the criminals of the governments manipulating the minds of all of us.

Reading between the lines of reported history of the past few decades, one has to conclude that criminality and brainwashing has now crept deeply into many public and private enterprises. Criminality creates negative attitudes, which in turn creates more criminals, if only for no other reasons than "if you can't fight them, join them," and which takes very little effort, because even secluded, tattooed, hairy beasts slouching on couches, while gulping beers and bonbons, have the digital tools to control and exploit the careless or unsuspecting masses around the world.

Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages or other traumatized people can acquire positive feelings towards their captors or abusers. Sometimes even to the point of defending them against criminal charges. Relate the case of Patty Hearst with the national and global scare stories that are incessantly being pounded into the minds of the American public such as Y2K, swine flu, bird flu, the sun is bad for you, terrorists are everywhere, see something, say something, anthrax, ask your doctor, tell your doctor, E. coli, calories, salt, skin cancer, cholesterol, etc., etc. Many of such kinds of incessant popular scares stories, and possibly also real events, are created for purposes of mind control, exploitation and maybe even for entertainment by and for those who have sick minds.

People under mind control cannot get out of it, because they do not even think about… You don’t think. You are a reactionary robot.

As I have already mentioned herein, I did not think about my plight. I was a extremely intimidated, shy boy and teenager. Because of the constant threat of severe corporal "punishment" even though I was always too scared to be bad, I did everything  robotically that adults told me to do or not do. I did not even think that my early life was too abnormal.

It took me years to attempt to think about the real reasons why my mother, brother and I had been homeless, hungry and cold: hateful parents and an uncaring or unresponsive judicial system. Unfortunately, there was not one organization that helped us, because very few existed in Germany during that time, and these still were mostly helping to recover from the ravages of war.

During my slavery in America as a teenager, I still did not think. I never thought about how to become independent. I did not consider options or plan for my future. I still reacted to other people’s orders, and worked hard with unending patient endurance. I truly began my long struggle for independence more by accident rather than by intentions.

A church was so much of a part of my abuse.

I could write a book about that subject based solely on my personal observations in many places. It boggles independent minds how much abuse is present in different denominations and "churches," Two of the possible reasons could be induced feelings of guilt, as well as emotional attachments that are similar to those causing abused spouses remain with their abusers. Likewise, the minds of some congregants cannot accept reality and feel bound to their abusers, exploiters.

My whole world was covered in abuse.

To read about the extent of my unbelievable early-life abuse, please read my memoir, Heroes from the Attic: A Gripping True Story of Triumph,” and what its readers have reported.

With traumas… it’s like you get eyes in the back of your head to see if abuse is coming.

I was already able to detect the energy, vibration or whatever made me feel uncomfortable or afraid as a child in the presence of certain people. It felt like their evil spirit was permeating the surroundings. As I said before, I still discern situations that seem to be harmless on the surface but in reality are potentially evil or destructive.

People use only 8 to 10% of their brains. If one has that kind of abuse, it like, flashes into other parts of your brain. So you end up using other parts of the brain that most people don’t even get to. They do not know that even exists.

My miraculous experiences with survival and what I have read about such subjects, lead me to believe that this is probably true. Brain functionality and flexibility probably includes even more than that. The Brain That Changes Itself describes how brains can adapt itself to using its different areas to control pain, restore lost functions of the body, etc. Did my traumas help expand the useful areas of my brain and/or re-assign some functions to less needed areas of my brain? The evidence I that have written about seems to indicate that this also true.

Mass mind control of the society.

Again, what did Bernays say about this subject? We are a monkey see, monkey do society. Examples: Someone appears on TV wearing his cap backwards and millions of monkeys do the same, and for many years. Someone invented "thinking outside  the box," then unknown thousands began thinking "outside the box." Without questioning, where is that box, what is in it, and how big is it?" It could be a cesspool with wiggling with maggots.

Senses become super heightened. An automatic defense mechanism when trauma is occurring. Such leads to almost psychic abilities.

One of the definitions of a psychic is “a person apparently sensitive to nonphysical forces.” Cathy hates to use that term psychic probably because it has been so abused. This may be so because of a preponderance of its usage by tealeaf and card readers, and magicians and the likes. But some animals have psychic abilities, and therefore people can have it too.

I gave a few examples of my “blinked” insights and foreknowledge. Some people have also told me that I do have the gift of discernment and prophesy. Would that not be the case I would not have been able to avoid or reverse the results of so many destructive impacts on me. I probably would have died a long time ago.

Any person traumatized before age of five, will develop a heightened suggestibility.

That was most likely the case with me, but it must not have been too many years before this was no longer true. Because of the distrust between my parents during their many court battles with each other, my brother and I became very suspicious about the intentions of some people.

Heightened suggestibility can extend far beyond the age of five. Many chemicals cause foggy thinking and thereby enable suggestibility. This may be one big reason why we have so much coaching, counseling, support groups, lawyers, and of course “ask your doctor,” and even “tell your doctor” that you feel like crap.

I could not see beyond my experiences of the moment. I could not even think to hope anymore.

Although I did not realize this for many, many years, this was also absolutely true with me. I almost never thought of my past, because it had been so traumatic, and never about my future because it seemed so hopeless. Only when a horse accident enticed me to write my story when I was in my late fifties, did a crack open up in my memory hole. At first I struggled to write a story about myself that would be of interest to readers. Similarly, when I was first invited to give a speech I made at least two dozen practice attempts to loosen my thoughts before was able to stream more than a few paragraphs about the subject I knew the most about, my life.

Note: Cathy made all of the above comments within only the first three minutes into one of her video segment. I will repeat what I said before, what is astounding about many of her experiences, psychological and emotional effects, observations and conclusions, is that they match so closely with mine.

My comparisons continue below:

People with compartmentalized brains have extreme physical endurance.

This is very true for me in several ways. I have worked outside during the day in 90°F weather for many years and even during an advanced age. For years I have gone jogging only between about October and April. Even so, when I was about 65 years old I crossed the finish line of a 10km San Francisco Bay to Breakers race in the top 8% of the registered male runners of all ages.

Can shut out pain and keep going, even stop bleeding from a bullet.

Two examples: While I was sitting sideways on one leg on a hot steep roof that leg felt comfortably warm. Only when I undressed that evening did I discover that I this had burned a 4 inch by 2 inch patch of skin on my calf. I had to apply silver cream three times a day for about one week thereafter and scrape it and the dying tissue off to prevent infections.

I ran my knee cap into the end of a rusty spike. That caused pain. However, within a very short time I forgot about it. When that knee quickly swelled up about one week later, and showed no other signs, it took me a few moments to recall as to what might have been the cause.

By writing out my memories I used a different part of my brain in verbalizing. I bypassed my emotions. Bypassing emotions was very necessary for making the illogical comprehensible for understanding and grasping what happened.

While writing my memoir I was surprised that I did not get depressed but only a little sad in the beginning of remembering my extreme traumas. I even snickered about “the circus and clowns” who had caused them. After I published my memoir readers asked me if doing so had helped me with my emotional well-being. Initially I answered that this had not been the case, but the more I learned and thought about that question, I came to agree that writing down my memories did indeed help me to become even happier than I already was.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Cathy O’Brien shares a lot more additional information about her background, experiences, lessons and observations. To keep this article as short as possible I will quote or paraphrase a few more that are interesting enough for further investigation:

Could not think to escape. - Developed an extra sense. - Sensed things very strongly. - Each part of the brain became perceptive, psychic by some definitions.

The brain sections off the abuse so rest of mind can function normally. Becomes less and less of a conscious mind to think through what is happening.

There becomes a less conscious mind to think through exactly to what is happening. If traumas are repeated enough, and there is enough compartmentalization created in the brain, then the subconscious mind is left wide open to be manipulated and easily.

Lost ability to question.

Subconscious mind spirit-driven, by love, compassion.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Where there is no vision, the people perish.
~ Proverbs 29:18
~ ~ ~ ~ ~



3 h





6 article.pdf



  Cathy O’Brien (Mind Control Victim) (7-part series)

* One of the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines "mind" as: “the element or complex of elements in an individual that feels, perceives, thinks, wills, and especially reasons.”